Star Wars Episode III - The Revenge of the Sith

By The Claw

Let me tell you that Star Wars Episode III is a lot better than the last two movies (Episode I was ok, but it could have done a lot better.  Episode II was perhaps the "worst" of the series, for it needed a lot more excitement and dialogue believability from the characters).  At times, the pace of the film seemed a bit too choppy, especially on how Anakin was turned toward the Dark Side.  The character development did seem believable, at least more believable than Episode III. 

This time, Anakin is torn apart by premonitions that his wife-in-secret, Padame (Natalie Portman), could die and will try to do anything to stop (this, of course, is discussed with some maudlin romance that stained "Attack of the Clones").  He turns to Yoda for advice, but Yoda tells him to "train himself to let go of what you are attached to.  Attachment can lead to greed.  Fear of loss is a path toward the Dark Side."  Anakin, of course, doesn't buy into it (I'll admit, I find this kind of philosophy a bit hard to swallow.  Of course, excessive attachment can lead toward the Dark Side, but then again, if your a Jedi, like a real-life monk, any attachment is "evil." Sigh, oh well.)  Before Yoda, Anakin defeats Count Dooku (cutting both his hands off, and then decapitating him after a "captive" Palpatinee tells Anakin to kill him.  That's it.  Just "kill him."  No moral conflict.  No argument on whether or not Anakin should kill an unarmed man.  Nothing.  But only after the fact, when it should have been done before), and "rescues" Palpatin, and lands the captive, damaged ship safely.  Anakin then expected some kind of reward, like being elevated to Jedi Master.  He was refused, and then became angry (understandably so).  He then turns to Chancellor Palpatine, whom the Jedi Council hold suspicious, because Palpatine trusts and believes in him.  Palpatine tells Anakin about using midichlorians to save other people.  Anakin, thinking about his wife, then asks him "Is it possible to learn this power?"  Palpatine answers "Not from a Jedi."  When Anakin began to doubt the dubious chancellor, Palpatine mentioned Anakin's wife, Padame, on how he can save her.  Then the young Jedi learns that Palpatine is Sith, and tells Mace Windu about it to arrest him. 

The battle between Mace Windu and Palaptine was perhaps the silliest scene in the movie.  After Palpatine kills 3 Jedi alongside Mace, Windu gets the upper hand on the Chancellor, whom uses Force Lightning on Mace.  Mace uses the lightsaber to deflect back at Palpatine.  Palpatine begins to scream in "pain", and I use "pain" in quotations because it seems as if the chancellor was screaming as if he were Judge Doom from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" after he got "dipped."  His scream was so ridiculous, you'd think that this was a bad comedy (it wasn't supposed to be that way).  So the chancellor, weakened and scarred (so this was how the emperor got his wrinkles), pleaded Mace to spare him.  Enter Anakin who told Mace, via experience from Dooku, that the Chancellor should stand trial, but Mace would have none of it, about to strike down Palpatine, but Anakin cuts off Windu's hand to prevent the strike and Palpatine kills him with the Force Lightning.  Anakin felt remorse about Windu, but after hearing the Chancellor's claims of a Jedi conspiracy against him, and seeing how Mace would have been completely corrupted by the Dark Side, Anakin turns allegiance to the Sith, and thus Darth Vader was born.  Yeah, I know it seemed choppy, but it makes sense.

"Do what must be done.  Do not hesitate.  Show them no mercy."  That was the cry from Palpatine to Vader, and carries out Executive Order 66, which basically meant killing every Jedi in sight.  This was perhaps the saddest scene in the movie.  The Clone Troopers who allied themselves to the Jedi, under now Emperor Palpatine, have killed every Jedi in sight, including some who were seen in Episodes I and II.  Obi-Wan and Yoda survived.  Vader and the Clone Troopers stormed the Jedi Temple and killed every Jedi in sight, including the Younglings  (we only saw the Younglings asking Anakin/Vader what's going on before he pulls out the lightsaber). 

After learning that Anakin has now become Darth Vader, Obi-Wan stowaways into Padame's ship to the volcanic moon of Mustafar to search for him.  Padame and Vader get into a major spat on how could Vader turn to the Dark Side.  Padame didn't want to believe him, but after Vader mentions about how they can kill the Chancellor so they can both rule the Galaxy, Padame realized that the man she loved has now become Sith.  With that, Vader felt betrayed and Force Choked her until Obi-Wan told him to release her.  Obi-Wan tells Anakin on how he perverted the ways of the Force, but Anakin retorts "if you're not with me, then you're with the enemy" (This quote was the subject of controversy that it was linked toward the Bush Administration.  Well, yes, Bush did say that, but out of context.  He said "If you're not with us, then you're against us in the War on Terror."  Did Anakin say mention anything about the War on Terror?  Nope.  Besides, Lucas wrote this before 9/11 so its purely coincidental).  "Only a Sith would deal in absolutes," yells Obi-Wan and the Battle of the Heroes begins (funny, what about the Jedi's position on attachments?  Isn't that an absolute as well.  No wonder Anakin became corrupt.  Too many inconsistencies on Jedi Doctrine).  The first two or three minutes of the lightsaber duel were an instant classic.  Very well-coordinated and very fast-paced.  Very.  During that time, Yoda encountered Palpatine whom he now knows is Darth Sidious (surprise, surprise) and another legendary battle begins.

The end of the battle between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader occurred when Obi-Wan took the "high ground" on an edge of a cliff near the lava.  Vader, on a platform leaps to Obi-Wan, only to get both his legs and his left arm cut off, and then rolls near the lava.  Obi-Wan then yells "You were the chosen one!"  Then Vader yells "I hate you!" only to catch himself literally on fire from the lava.  Obi-Wan then leaves Vader while being burned beyond recognition. 

Palaptine, after "beating" Yoda (Yoda escaped), takes Vader to be reconstructed, painfully.  During that time, Padame, dying from Vader's choke hold, went into labor delivering twins.  First Luke, then Leia. Padame then dies and was taken to her home in Naboo (Jar-Jar was shown for that time only, along with the Gungar leader from Episode I).  Meanwhile, Vader really then turned into Darth Vader with the familiar black suit and helmet and labored breathing and the voice of James Earl Jones (I noticed that not one member of the audience was cheering.  We did cheer for him when the re-release of Episode IV was in theaters, but not this time.  This was somber and tragic.  The person we knew as Anakin Skywalker died and being painfully reconstructed along with the death of his wife left the audience in somber silence.)  Vader asks "Where is Padame?"  The Emperor said "She had died... by your own hand."  Vader then screams, resulting from his failure to protect her, destroying everything in sight, via the Force, leaving the emperor in delight. 

The Skywalker twins were separated.  Leia went under the care of Senator Bali Organa with his wife to live in Alderan.  Obi-Wan Kenobi takes Luke to be under the care of the Owen and Beru Lars.  The Death Star is under construction with Vader looking alongside of the Emperor.  There's even a glimpse of a younger Governor Tarkin, whom we see in Episode IV.  Owen and Beru Lars with Luke look along the 2 suns on their home in Tatooine and enter Episode IV... in another 20 years.  The audience (along with this reviewer) cheers.

 

Really good.  Made me understand (though not necessarily condone) why Anakin went to the Dark Side.  A bit choppy but made a lot of sense.  I may have done the same as Anakin if I were in his position.  Scary, huh?

 

My friends, my work here is done.  I have enjoyed my stay.  But, the forces of reality and the demands of a normal sex life compel me to depart.  May the Force be with you... for me to poop on (compliments from Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog).

 

The Claw

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