Watchmen review by Bam

What can one say when they have experienced the most kick ass movie they have ever seen. I think I have to devise a word altomagnawatcherific to describe the insanity portrayed.  Mike and I caught a showing at 3:30 in the freaking morning. YES that’s right 3:30 A.M. Yes just like the Silk Spectre, I am used to going out at 3 am and doing some stupid shit.  Shockingly I was not dazed from the 2.5 hours of sleep.

We arrived to the Universal City AMC Imax and found that the OWL-SHIP waited for us! After taking the requisite photos We made our way to the line. A line that probably had people there since at least 10 o Clock. People were sprawled out on the benches as if it were a homeless shelter. We even saw a dude dressed up as the Steve Ditko inspired hero Rorschach.

The big question is did the movie deliver or was I a giant jackass for going to a movie at 3:30 in the movie. The answer is both. I am a jackass … but not because the watchmen failed to deliver. I’m a jackass because I didn’t finish reading the graphic novel before watching the movie.

The story is a murder mystery, social commentary, new world order paranoia tale, and generational narrative all wrapped into one.

Every character brings something special and may be considered as analogies to the people that read comics. Some of the fun is identifying which archetypes these heroes represent.

To my knowledge, you will see the biggest boobs ever seen on an IMAX screen. What is amazing is that the movie did not get an NC-17 rating. Between the silk specters, the comedian, nite-owl and Dr. Manhattan the movie could have been called tales of the frakking maters. The director Zach Synder really clung to these scenes. The only major Hollywood action film that has more tail was hollow man and that one was really disturbed.  In other words, DO NOT TAKE YOUR KIDS UNLESS YOU WANT THEM TO HAVE A GRAPHIC SEX ED LESSON.

The violence is harsh you will see broken bones and gruesome deaths. This is not for the faint of heart.

The heroes all genuinely want to do something right with the world. They just have different ways of looking at things. The main stand out is Rorshach (Jackie Earl Haley) This guy makes the punisher look like a punk. His strength lies in his psychosis. He reminds me of a samurai with his strictness and unforgiving attitud e. His mask causes his opponents true mental disruption which also gives him an advantage.

The greatness in the characters really gives the actors a tremendous range of inspiration to draw upon.  Damn they use it well.  Nite-Owl, Silk Spectres, Dr. Manhattan, the comedian, Ozymandias and the rest of the gang make it feel as strange as a high school reunion gone all wrong. Everyone’s motivations are different, people are cordial at first, but by the end there is a breakdown of moral absolutism that affects everybody. And that ugly shitstorm, that momentary breaking of souls is so beautiful to see. What do people do in the face of that.

 

Christmas came on March 6 this year and it is happening at the movie theaters near you!